Hostile Questions: Megan Hart
Posted by: Daniel Kraus
I’m sure it’s oft been noted that Megan Hart has the perfect name for a writer of romance. “Hart,” as we know, brings to mind “heart,” that emblem of love and passion. And “Megan,” as we know, is an ancient Norse word meaning “Writer of a Whole Bunch of Books Sporting Covers of Men and Women in Various States of Undress.” With her many novels of love, sex, love-sex, sex-love, love-love, and sex-sex, it’s no wonder Hart is a bestselling powerhouse. She’s probably feeling pretty indestructible right about now.
But then she met me. A tall, dark stranger who typed at his keyboard as one might gun a motorcycle engine. And the rest is history.
Just who do you think you are?
Colloquially, I’m known as She Who Must Be Obeyed, aka The Empress of Erotica. (Titles unrelated.) Siri refers to me as Domina. My kids call me mom. My friends call me Megan or sometimes, just M. Once someone, in an outrage, demanded to know “WHO IS AUTHOR M?” Well. That would be me. I write books. Some of them use bad words, but most of the others are okay.
Where do you get off?
Always at the right stop, I’m sort of made of magic like that. That is if I bother to get off at all, sometimes I just keep riding.
What’s the big idea?
I think the question you want to ask me is what ISN’T the big idea? They’re all big. Enormous. I have huge ideas. Immense. My ideas are so big when they sit around the house, they really sit around the house, if you know what I mean. My ideas are so big they make Godzilla look like that Geico Gecko. My ideas are so big they have their own zip code. I got big ideas, that’s what I’m trying to say here.
What is your problem, man?
Haven’t you done enough?
Of course, but that won’t stop me from doing it again. And again. And again. And then one more time. Remember those big ideas? I’m just gonna keep on going with them. It’s a compulsion. I guess I could stop writing books, but then I’d have to get a real job that requires me to leave my house and interact with human beings instead of conducting my life almost exclusively through social media. No, thank you, and good day, Sir. I SAID GOOD DAY!